So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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