Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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