Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
