he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
