One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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