I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
