I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
