Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
