we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
