I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
