Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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