Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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