@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
