I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
