Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
