Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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