you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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