you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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