the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
