i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
