I smell stomach acid.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
