Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
