We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
