wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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