We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
