i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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