why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
