brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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