How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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