i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
