she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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