you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
