I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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