Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Drunk is not a location!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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