He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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