He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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