I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
