that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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