He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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