i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
