therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
