im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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