Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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