For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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