so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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