I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
