well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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