how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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