I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize