I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
