so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
