would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i believe in u and ur pee
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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