I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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