can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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