Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
