Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
