Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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