In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
