walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
