how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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