Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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