Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
